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georgeinar Platinum Member
Joined: 15 Jun 2002 Posts: 3425 Location: Chicago
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 2:55 am Post subject: georgeinar - Mausoleum (wish u were here) May 09 |
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My attempt at straight up industrial goth:
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=7506031&q=hi
Mausoleum – wish you were here
Isn’t this a nightmare?
Lost all hope
Hungry politicians
Hooked on dope
Demons on a cat walk
Gods impaled
Turning all the tricks
Where dreams have failed
Side by side
Grave by grave
Each by each
Mouth by mouth
Can I get a headstone
For my bride?
Resting place
Where lovers hide?
Tomb by tomb
Underground
Room by room
Safe and sound
Boom boom boom
All hail the beast
With a brand in his hand
His wrath released
In these stones, we rest our bones
You and me - eternity
Mausoleum cold and damp
Deadly sleeping graveyard camp
Beneath the war boots
Sonic pound
Lie in peace here
Hallowed ground
Put your feet up and
Rest your head
A grave’s a grave and
A bed’s a bed
Tomb by tomb
Underground
Room by room
Safe and sound
Lying here
Among the crosses
Crumbling stones and
Creeping mosses
In these stones, we rest our bones
You and me - eternity
Mausoleum cold and damp
Deadly sleeping graveyard camp
In this mausoleum
Honeymoon day
Erotic hot spot
Wouldn’t you say?
Cast your bets on
Demigods
I get evens
You get odds
Spare the children spoil the rods _________________ George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)
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Stephen Platinum Member
Joined: 28 Aug 2002 Posts: 4709
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 11:11 am Post subject: |
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Where to start
The lyrics are most impressive, how you do that, is way beyond me!
The production might be one of your best ever, very slick, clever, hard driving, and addictive.
The instrumentation really blew me away, the way you use those synths against that cool rhythm is just amazing.
Excellent, George!
I'm blown away...again!
Regards, _________________ Stephen
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1514031
http://www.soundclick.com/jsf
http://cdbaby.com/all/jstephenfoster
Location Central U.S.A. |
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Pumpkin King Senior Member
Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 262 Location: Hagerstown, MD
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 3:42 pm Post subject: |
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Well, it's hard for me to give you any suggestions because you seem to know what you're doing.
If I were to add anything to the song, I'd probably throw in some keyboard solos. But that's just me. And I think that the ending, again, seems abrupt. I was thinking that the pattern you ended it on should be repeated and then you could end in on a G (I'm pretty sure).
Nice job. _________________ Like my Facebook Page!
My Soundcloud Page
My Youtube Page |
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georgeinar Platinum Member
Joined: 15 Jun 2002 Posts: 3425 Location: Chicago
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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PumpkinKing: Thanks for the comments. I appreciate any suggestions. Trust me, I consider every comment on my songs, and esp if I get more than one on a certain aspect I will revisit, but only if I agree. I think I would hesitate putting keyboard solos here, as it's just slamming and short and to the point and sometimes I feel that instrumental portions may not be as club friendly, though I do use them occasionally. I kind of like a snappy quick ending in this case when it comes almost as a slap in the face as this one does, or like a whip snap. Usually I will sustain a pad sound and fade that away. In this case I don't want it to sound like a live band so I'm trying to make it sound like computer music intentionally. Also, I have lots of songs on my mp3 player of this dance rock type that stop as soon as it's over and don't have much adornment there, so it's a matter of taste I guess.
Stephen: thanks for your ears and encouragement. I know our styles are at least poles apart, yet we can still support and encourage each other and appreciate the art it takes to pull these suckers off month after month. Because of these OSAMs I am becoming quite the prolific songwriter and this to my own amazement. I'm in such a groove now, I feel like I could write a song a month for the rest of my life, but I will prbly need a break after this year. I'm learning a lot of internet marketing and it is paying off at least a little. In one day I had 250 downloads of an earlier song. Now I just gotta get more people to find me in itunes, it seems itunes has the most commercial potential vs the other sites (which are mostly other artists sharing music). I do need to have a lot of "product" available, if I'm to believe a guy interviewed on cdbaby. He said if you do get some fans you need to have a lot of things for them to buy (think cd's), because some people will luv you and want to have all of your cds so the more the merrier. Heck I should print up some 2loose Tshirts, but who could afford to front th emoney and would anyone even buy them?? Well, I'm having a ball anyway, thats the main thing. _________________ George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)
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ellll Platinum Member
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 3118 Location: Panama City, FL
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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Hi George, The song is from...... ?-? welll... SOMEWHERE!!! , the graveyard I assume....
And it shows, as usual !!! The lyrics indeed as said already....are SPOT ON!! And that's for me as well , and it's a great and lumping weight.... !
You have a way of concept transformation into words that really works!!! It FITS... almost always when you write!! If I tried it my words would be silly put together with the music....!!
The melodic material is great and the harmony supports it well ... The change-outs and breaks are indeed in place....
There is nothing to give a negative comment on here... It is just flat GOOD!!!
Best Regards, John (ellll) |
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georgeinar Platinum Member
Joined: 15 Jun 2002 Posts: 3425 Location: Chicago
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Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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Ellll: I'm so glad you enjoyed this. I think what makes the lyrics stronger here is the use of words such as ground and pound. Boom boom boom. It's a marching stomping monster of a lyric to music which hopefully is doing the same. While my last cd was leaning toward space glam aliens and galactic dreams, I'm now delving back to my goth roots. Groups like Black Sabbath and others used to be all I listened to, so I'm coming around full circle with some of these darker pieces, but still humorous and danceable, hopefully. Also, I'm thinking about doing more fetish subject matter, such as what I did with my Great Dictator, which was like a role playing weirdness with this guy and his girl. Could be fun as well. Dominatrix music, why not. _________________ George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)
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pwmccredie
Joined: 11 Dec 2008 Posts: 36
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Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Whatever this is...its done well. The content believes in itself, making it true.
a grave is a grave and a bed is a bed...
You can kinda feel this song in your chest and smell it on your breath when you are done with it... |
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joet63 Full Member
Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 161 Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 8:53 am Post subject: |
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Hi George, where did you get those synth sounds they were so cool!, sweeping back and forth. I like this song, it was so good, like others have said you know what you're doing, so I won't attempt to say anything, well done George.
joe _________________ Apple iMac G5 1.9Ghz 1.5Gb RAM 10.4.10, MBox 2 + MBox Mini 2, ,Shure SM58,
Reason 5, Record 1.5, KLC 1.2v, Korg MS2000, BR, Korg Electribe Series Mk11, Roland JV1080, Novation A Station, Novation Bass Station, Evolution 49 M/Controller, Yamaha PSR295,300,DSR 2000, E/Acoustic CPX900, Epiphone Sheraton, Suzuki Acoustic Guitar,
Washburn RB2500 Bass Guitar, Akai Pro ME30PII, Fostex Mixer, Korg DS-10, Korg PadKontrol.
www.myspace.com/joethompson63 |
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georgeinar Platinum Member
Joined: 15 Jun 2002 Posts: 3425 Location: Chicago
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:41 am Post subject: |
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the basic synth there are from the Radias, i use radias for all my buzzy synth leads as they have such a nice crispness, and thanks for all your comments, i do appreciate. This cd is coming along month by month. _________________ George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)
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