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georgeinar

Well now we know I can't sing. This is my attempt to chat along while my synth gently weeps. I thought this piece would be the one Stephen would like to add a guitar track to, and while it's asking a lot, those of you with actual pipes for singing could always take this on as a melody-writing, adding your voice challenge. I don't know if this music would lend itself to a singing vocal part or not, but I tried different things with my voice and this is the best I could come up with.

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6319512&q=hi
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George Nelson is 2loose
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Diego · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:30 pm Post subject:

It's so sweet!!
Synth sounds, powerfull & gentle at the same time.
Chord progression is simply fantastic, and the usage of the piano sound give a touch of melody/armony nearly perfect.

It's right as it is, I would not add guitars (forgive me Stephen) or other vocals: we all know it's your voice, it's your signature, the vocal processing is so industrial sounding over a melodic and sweet melody/progression...I would just try to record it with a little more care; pay attention because it seems at the end you're tired to record, ahah!
The only "negative" thing is that it's a bit too long for my tastes: it should easly become an MTV hit, so I'm expecting it to have nearly nothing more after 3'30'', having the room for fading out the track...

You should just tewak a little the fingered bass sound (it's nice the usage of both electric and synth bass), and change the kick adding some body and bottom-ends.
The section going from 4.00 and the transition to the reprise should have to be a little less abrupted, the snare roll it's a good idea, but then the sound is a little empty; in my mind, the last chorus should be so full of sound (BTW the chromatic descending progression is very good!!)

Having that saied, my best compliments, george, it's very very good!
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georgeinar · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:41 pm Post subject:

Thank you for not just saying "what a nice song" as it's difficult to get these pieces to sound properly. I will consider your suggestions. As for length, I could probably make a radio single edited version for MTV, and believe me if MTV wanted one, you bet I'd figure out a way. I guess I could cut much of the intros in the beginning, but I love that it takes so long to bring in the voice, to me it makes it more dramatic, as if announcing some grand experience.
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George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)

Diego · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:46 pm Post subject:

Oh, no, please don't cut the intro!
It's soooo nice!

...trust me, I would have loved to say a lot more things about your soung, but my english is not so good so I can make me understand clearly from other musicians.
So I'm always afraid to be not that kind while expressing my opinions; and I try to enter the mind of the musician I'm listening when I comment other's works, if I give you an advice I don't want to go far from your original idea.
I think it's normal to say "I would have done it in a different way", but it's not a usefull comment.

Regards
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Diego http://www.myspace.com/diegoinmusic

Korg M3 with EXB Radias & EXB-256 onboard
MOTU Traveler - iBook G4

JonSolo · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject:

George you really took this one to a new level. When you were talking about doing an electro-pop ballad that you were not singing I wondered how on earth you could pull it off.

Let's just say WOW! You did it. As Diego said, the chord changes are fantastic. The interwoven melodies (my cup of tea) are very engaging. I think the voice sits a little deep in the mix, or maybe you could add a tad more mid-low end to it to richen it a bit. The dynamics of your mix are really good, though I did hear a bit more compression to it than I would have liked. Then again...I just had a relapse of my cold (see below). So my ears may not be completely up to par.

I love the bass lines. Fantastic use of sub harmony.

Not to criticize anything Diego suggested but I do hear where a solo electric guitar would add even more shine to an already great piece of music. I am sure Stephen could tastefully "do his thing" to this track.

And... I do hear vocal harmonies behind your chorus parts; maybe duping what you are saying or complementing your phrases somehow. Ok, upon second listen I hear all sorts of stuff that could be done vocally. However, that is up to you to do it. If you are interested, I don't mind offering you my voice for some harmonies. It might have to wait a bit, though, because as of yesterday I am having some weird relapse of this cold. My nose is soar, and so is my throat along with a lot of congestion. Just let me know though. We have a whole month!

As it is with each song posted by members of this group the OSAM bar gets raised a notch higher!

Solo
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georgeinar · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject:

Thank you Jonsolo, I thought you would get into this sort of thing. I learned a lot having done few slow songs ever in my life. This one I had to meticulously listen to each measure and listen for note competition. Sometimes notes would overlap and sound muddy. Times the bass drum were competing with those bass lines so certain parts I cut down on the kick drum notes and thinned it out. And I redid that weird descending thing, which I don't even know what that's called, several times and as it was way too thick I kept removing voices. The piano part I was originally playing just chording throughout the entire song and that sounded horrible. So I tried just doing the counter melody things and that seemed to add rather than take away. The part where it goes, i just stand and wave i promised to be brave, i could not get anything to come out from my vocals. it's like i didn't believe in what i was saying, yet it seemed to be the best i could come up with to lead into my favorite lyric part, though the wind is high the cars just pass me by. this was really tough, but i'm glad i stuck it out. i don't think i'll ever be completely satisfied with this sort of thing though, i'm used to belting out the words with a funny scarey voice and letting the chips fall, but this one needed to sound sincere.
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George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)

Stephen · Platinum Member Joined: 28 Aug 2002 Posts: 4709

Geeze George, this is just great! Really, I love everything about this.
If you are serious about adding some guitar, I'd love to try it.
Very Happy

More of this style please, I love this!
Smile

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georgeinar · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject:

I thought you would like this smoother side of me. Do you want to work off the mp3 that you probably already downloaded off soundclick? Or I could somehow get you the wav file. I don't have access to the server here anymore since I never used it since I got my new computer. I would be interested to hear what you would add for a guitar part. If you get the time that is.
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George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)

Lorenzo · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:49 am Post subject:

hey George! where did this new talent come from!? I never heard you compose in this kind of music, this is a real surprise! About the production I can't tell a single word but I really really like to hear this with a singer who sing the same words in (and as) the background... you should write down a melody track and ask someone to sing it for you if you feel that you can't do it by yourself.
Regards, Lorenzo
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Diego · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:25 am Post subject:

I'm really interested to follow the evolution of that song, the idea to post at the first day of the month askin for the contribution of all OSAM members is great.
Of course, everyone get different feelings from the song, and even if yesterday I suggested not to add anything (but to cut to kkep it short Wink

) I think that song can grow up with proper addition such like guitar and vocal harmonies.
BTW, I still belive (until I hear the final complete version) that this arrangment represents George's style; but no one better than George himself can tell us what is the best for his song.

Regards
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Diego http://www.myspace.com/diegoinmusic

Korg M3 with EXB Radias & EXB-256 onboard
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Stephen · Platinum Member Joined: 28 Aug 2002 Posts: 4709

georgeinar · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 3:32 pm Post subject:

Stephen, for gosh sakes, this song is right up your alley, i thought of you right along as i was doing this, i'm like 'hey Stephen's gonna go for this style big time.' my only thought is that it would need the right effect on the guitar to keep with the electonic essence, yet again, i trust your ears, maybe something very distorted could work too, this will be interesting, why not try what you think sounds good and post it, and we'll take comments, how fun is that, actually this will be my first collaboration at KF. and daz said he wants to add guitar to one of my songs, my next one is a space boogie with blues progressions, maybe i can get daz on that one.
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George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)

jazlover · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:04 pm Post subject:

George, you really suprise me with each song. There is obviously a lot of musical depth in you. I can't peg down what you might produce the next month. That is exciting. You have really thrown down the gautlet. Not only do you start off on the first day of the new month, but you do something kool outside of what I might expect. The synths are really nice. I feel like you guys are doing micro surgery with you production, while I am hacking away with a machete. It is very well put together as always.

George, I have forgotten.....What do you use to do your recording and editing?

What is with Jon Solo writing......Leave and now you writing.......So I'll say goodbye.....
Is there a theme this month?
Did I miss the memo?
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georgeinar · Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:44 am Post subject:

Well, first there was Stay: Jonsolo. Now it's Goodbye, me and now Leave. I do think we're on to something. Thank you for listening. I'm using the Triton Studio. But I'm mixing and mastering on the PC (Vista) and using Soundforge, Ozone 3, Slayer and Trash. I'm mixing right now only in Audacity, but I'd like to learn FL studio as it give you more control like eq-ing individual tracks and effects in real time, or so I think. Anyway, I grew up playing piano in church so I know harmonies and hundreds of hymns by heart. Also, I listen to a lot of Ultravox and with tunes like their Vienna, I do get inspired now and then to do a slow beautiful piece. But dont' get too spoiled the next one I got is a Boogie Woogie. As far a micro surgery, I tweaked nearly every note over and over until I had the right sustain and no overlaps etc. It's never perfect but I did go over this quite a few times and I rewrote the lyrics 3 times.
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George Nelson is 2loose
http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/2loose for my cds
http://www.soundclick.com/2loose or follow my tweets = 2loose_buzzgoth (twitter name)

chordial · Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject:

A musical nod to Vienna at the start (and end), sets this up nicely. Has a good fresh feel to it, nice sounds and the production sounds clean too. You really do delve deeply into the piece with the micro surgery, that's an amazing amount of attention to detail. Think I would like the synth sound that echos "So I'll Say Goodbye" a little higher in the mix near the end, but that's only a nit pick.

Be interesting to hear how the song evolves with the guitar (and harmonies possibly).
Another catchy and very listenable track.
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