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[chordial]

This turned out nothing like I'd imagined, it has evolved over the last few weeks into something else. I was hoping for more of a halloween theme.
Not sure about the start, the idea was part of the original concept, loads of effects and then into the main part. Anyhow this is how it turned out:

http://www.music.ferntill.com/osam/Oct08.mp3

Regards Simon
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Chordial

[Diego]

Hi!

I like the starting!
As it's very "full" of multiple lines, I would love to hear more crazy panning, with dopler effect maybe...something that you could even image in dolby sorround!

To me the electric distorted guitar it's a little too much loud, I would leave more space for the 2 beautiful keyb and guit lead!

You're right, it's not so Halloween-ish, but where's the problem?!
It rocks, it sound nice and strong, so nothing wrong with that in october
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[JonSolo]

There are some nice changes and solos here. There are also some great sounds and textures in the background. I hear this very nice droning synth sound, almost lead like in and around the lead guitar sound. Reminds me of one of Keith Emerson's favorite lead sounds. The playing is really good, and I enjoy seeing us all move from behind our keyboards to were other hats. This track has some real potential.

Ok now I am going to be hard on you!

What is missing: a breath.

This song has a lot of opportunities to breathe and several factors just won't let it. The constant looped drums with the sixteenth high hats strangles the track. There is never a breakdown or drop out. Through the "verses" of the song, I would have dropped the high hat all together and had a kick/snare combo beat similar to the opening of "Be My Baby". And even after that I might have limited the high hats to eights.

Then there is the omni present distorted guitar. It too robbed this track of what I hear to be very musical moments.

The change up two thirds of the song through was a great opportunity to slam the track with a hard choked drum bass and guitar hit together...and the second time through you did choke the electric guitar...but there again, the drum loop stole the moment from you.

A revisit to the drums, distorted guitar, and a remix might just be what the doctor ordered to really make this track shine.

Jon
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[georgeinar]

There's something quite interesting about all these sounds playing against each other. It could use some change up as Jonsolo mentioned. But I like how buzzy it sounds and the timing seems good. Sounds like you're getting better control overall on pulling the parts together. I know for me, I always put some part of the song that sounds nothing like the rest of it, it's either a bridge portion, or an obvious chorus. But songs don't necessarily have to be constructed that way. If you do have a looping continual sound such as in the stuff Ministry was doing or Killing Joke it better be absolutely powerful and mind boggling and relentless. This style can work but you better beat us over the head with it. At least that's how I picture this sort of construction working. Probalby the best bet though is to construct a few contrasting parts where the drums, gutars and other parts change up. Maybe one section only has a strong synth pad as a lead and another has a guitar part leading and for each the drum beat is quite different. I do like a lot of what you're doing here and I find it very interesting and experimental.
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[Stephen]

This has some good stuff happening, the drums, and bass seem to work well together, but that distorted tone on the guitar needs to be very carefully placed in the mix or it will hog all the listeners attention, and it's too forward here.

Many times I find myself initially using too much distortion, and end up backing it off several times before getting a tone that sits well in the mix.

Nice sound on the synth, only I'm not sure it works all that well in this piece, you really are coming along with the guitar playing, so maybe try a nice clean compressed rhythm sound against that synth lead, something not so sustained, but more rhythmic, and see how you like that.
I hope this is helpful.
Regards,
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[chordial]

Hi Diego,
I did try some more effects for the start, but ended up with some weird phasing.
I tried playing this on different systems as I though the dist guitar was too dominating, think I had an oasis moment when recording it
The keyboard parts didn't seem strong enough to stand alone, and funnily enough that rhythm guitar was eventually one long take, a miracle for me.

Hi Jon,
I do usually try to break up the mix a bit, but this was played to a drum track to keep the timing tighter than previously. I think because of that I didn't have the freedom to play the usual finger drums. I could add these bits and pieces later, although I'm sure that I would like to record the rhythm parts again, they could certainly be mixed out at strategic points, and lowered. Thanks again it's observations like this that are plain to see now, and would make a big difference.

Hi George,
Much the same as the reply to Jon about the mix and I do now miss having a bridge section in here. I am going for a re-mix over the next couple of days. Not sure if I can drop a bridge in now, but I have plenty to work on with the mix itself. Again I though about lyrics, and even scribbled a few down initially, even tried speaking the ones I had over the track, but that didn't work out very well.

Hi Stephen,
This was one of my best guitar 'takes', and I played about with some different effects trying to get the sound I wanted, didn't quite get there, it was still a little too heavy. I'm finding my lead accuracy is getting better, but they are all starting to sound the same, possibly I'll try going through some lead tabs.


Thanks again guys.
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Chordial

[DrWho]

Hi Chordial,

You've got some good feedback already - this tune has potential. I hear you on the drums for timing - so what i do is keep them on a separate track, them replace them with whatever I decide o use. This way I get a solid time reference to put the tune together without being locked into a perpetual loop.

I like the heart beat bass drum intro. Interesting guitar EFx

={> Art
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[chordial]

Cheers Art,

I would like to record a track that I'm completely happy with, but so far it's all been ideas. I don't mind that, as the songs seem to work in their own way, and without osam I would probably record nothing - that's what song club is all about, makes you push. We have great songs here, works in progress in my case. Wish I had more time to work on these, once the base tracks are recorded, I want to move on.

Good thinking with the drum track, I'll keep that in mind, so far it's been either no track at all, add the track later, or in this case play along to it. By using a drum track that suits the mood it'll give a solid start to the recording. ideas.

Cheers Simon
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Chordial

[ellll]

Hi Chordial,

This is really nice!! Good rhythm to me.... It has a kind of 70 -80 rock feel in a way....It is pretty where it needs to be as well!!! I do agree that the guitar could be pulled back just a tad....so it would allow more general interest to develop; there ARE lines that are important besides the Guitar in this mix....

Thanks for putting this up!! It is a hit for me....!!

My Regards!!! John (ellll)

[sewa]

Cheers Simon,

you have got a loud and very clean recording, good job there, no doubt. I like your guitar playing too. I mean, it is 'real' stuff, no midi, no quantizing so it takes work to record it properly.

As far as the rythmical section goes, I agree with Jon. The thing with a distorted sound is that it sucks energy out of you, if overdosed. I can imagine that braking the song up a little and filling the space with a -say- bass solo, could help a lot.

Other than that, I can only appreciate the effort you put into mastering a new instrument in the little spare time between work and home.

sewa

[chordial]

Hi John, Sewa
My plans to remix this have been put on hold for a while, hopefully later this week.
Yes I wish I had more time, osam drives me on though!
Cheers Simon
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Chordial

[Dee]

Hi Simon

You have a good structure set up here to which you can add stuff later. A contrasting section would be nice, as some of the others have suggested, but as it is it flows along was very enjoyable on the ear.

Some great guitar playing here too - hope you eventually get this finished and let us hear how it turns out.

Regards from
Dee

[chordial]

Thanks Dee, I moved on to November, but will remix it.
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Chordial